Jen Terrell
Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT) #155583 | Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC)
Cassandra Syndrome Specialist
At a Glance:
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Believes you — the partner who has been telling the truth about your relationship and feeling unheard
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A lifelong translator: between cultures, between neurotypes, and between what your partner means and what actually lands
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Neurodivergent herself, and a Highly Sensitive Person who experiences the world intensely and reads a room fast
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Knows masking, shutdown, and sensory overload from the inside — so she can explain what may be happening in your partner
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Grew up bicultural — a Korean mother and a Caucasian father — translating what was "respectful," what emotions were allowed, and who got to speak
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Mother of four (ages 13 to 27), each a different human across different wiring
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Practical and "how-to" by nature — focused on communication, sensory regulation, and rebuilding trust
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Draws on attachment-based work, Internal Family Systems (IFS)–informed tools, and nervous-system-aware, culturally sensitive care
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Sees individuals and couples in California; telehealth
I Believe You
You're not imagining it. You're not too sensitive, too needy, or too much. And you are not crazy — even if you've started to wonder, even if you've been made to feel that way.
If you've spent years reaching for closeness and coming back empty-handed, if you've tried to explain your hurt and watched it slide past unregistered, if you've been told the problem is you because everything looks fine from the outside — I believe you. What you are feeling is real, it has a name, and there is a reason for it. So much of my work is exactly this: the practical "how-to" of rebuilding communication, calming an overloaded nervous system, and restoring trust after years of feeling unheard. You do not have to convince me your experience is real. I already know it is.
What I Understand About Your Experience
When two people love each other across different nervous systems, the same conversation can land in two completely different worlds. You reach out for reassurance and get a fact instead of a feeling. You share something that hurt and watch it go unregistered. You ask, again, for the attunement you need, and you're met with someone who genuinely does not seem to see what you see. Over time, that gap stops feeling like a difference and starts feeling like rejection — like proof that you don't matter.
The name people use for this is Cassandra syndrome — after the figure who told the truth and was never believed. It isn't a formal diagnosis, and it is never a way to blame your partner for how their brain is wired. But the pain it names is very real. So much of it lives in the gap between intent and impact: your partner may mean one thing while what reaches you is something else entirely, and after years of that gap you can start to doubt your own perception, quiet your own needs, and slowly disappear inside a relationship you never left. Naming this isn't about deciding your partner is the villain. It's about finally seeing the shape of what's been happening — clearly and honestly, without either of you being made into the problem — so you can stop carrying it alone.
Why I Can Stand With You — and Translate the Other Side
I want to be honest with you about who I am, because it's the source of what I can offer. I'm neurodivergent, and I'm a Highly Sensitive Person. I experience the world intensely — sound, light, tone, timing — and I read a room fast. I know from the inside what it's like to feel misunderstood, to mask, and to shut down when I'm overloaded.
That's exactly why I can help. I will believe you and stand firmly on your side — and I can also translate the inner world of a neurodivergent partner in a way that finally makes sense of what you've been living with. When your partner goes quiet after you share something painful, I can tell you what may be happening in that silence. When a request for closeness gets met with logic instead of warmth, I can show you the wiring underneath it — not to excuse it, but so it stops feeling like a personal verdict on your worth. So much of the hurt in these relationships comes from not having a map. My whole approach is built to hand you one.
A Lifelong Translator
Translating isn't a technique I picked up in training — it's how I grew up. I was raised by a Korean mother and a Caucasian father, and from the beginning I was translating far more than words. I translated what was "respectful," what emotions were allowed, who got to speak and when. I learned early that two people can love each other completely and still be living by different rules that neither one has ever said out loud.
That is the exact skill this work asks for. In a neurodiverse relationship, you and your partner are often running on unspoken rules that were never written down — about closeness, about how feelings get shown, about what "I'm listening" is supposed to look like. I help bring those rules into the light so they stop colliding in the dark. I'll help you name what you actually need, understand what your partner is actually doing, and find language your whole relationship can live with.
How My Own Wiring Helps Me Help You
Because I'm a Highly Sensitive Person, I know the particular ache of feeling everything at full volume and being met by someone who doesn't seem to feel it the same way. I know what it is to read a room in an instant and then have your read dismissed. If you've been told you're "overreacting" to something you could feel in your body was real, I understand that from the inside — and I won't do that to you.
And because I'm neurodivergent, I also know the other side of the divide. I know what masking costs, what it's like when the nervous system quietly hits its limit and everything shuts down, and how a person can care deeply and still go silent or flat exactly when their partner needs them most. That doesn't make your loneliness less real — it makes it explainable. When I describe what may be going on inside your partner, I'm not working from a textbook. I know that inner world firsthand, and that's precisely what lets me put it into words you can finally use.
A Life With Real Experience Behind It
I bring a full life into the room with you. I'm a mother of four, ages 13 to 27, and every one of them is a different human — different strengths, sensitivities, and stuck points, across different wiring. Parenting them taught me the lesson I carry into all of my work: human diversity is a strength, not a problem to fix. When we honor how a person is actually wired instead of fighting it, everything softens.
I've also lived through the harder things that reshape a family. I lost a sibling, and I know grief doesn't stay in one corner of life — it touches sleep, appetite, patience, plans, holidays, and the energy you have left for the people you love. I've owned a small business, so I know how money worries and constant demands can drain your capacity right when your relationship needs you most. If you're the one holding everything together — remembering, anticipating, smoothing things over, measuring your worth by how much you carry — I understand that trap intimately, and I can help you set some of that weight down.
How I Work
I'm practical by nature. Insight matters, but you also need things you can actually do on a Tuesday night when a conversation is going sideways. My work focuses on the "how-to" of communication, on sensory and nervous-system regulation so hard conversations don't flood either of you, and on rebuilding trust after years of feeling unheard. I'll slow things down, reduce the overwhelm, and design supports that fit real people in a real relationship — not a perfect one on paper.
Within that, I draw on attachment-based work, Internal Family Systems (IFS)–informed tools, and a culturally sensitive, neurodiversity-affirming frame — always adapted to how your nervous systems actually work rather than applied off the shelf. I'll tell you what I see clearly and kindly, and I'll always treat you as the expert on your own life. Whether you come on your own to find your footing, or you and your partner come together to build a real bridge, meaningful change doesn't require everyone to be in the room. And when trust has been broken — including after betrayal — I can sit with the repair honestly, without rushing you and without pretending the hurt didn't happen.
Who I Work With
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Neurotypical partners of neurodivergent people — those living the Cassandra experience of feeling unseen and unbelieved
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Partners exhausted by carrying the emotional weight of the relationship alone
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People questioning their own perception after years of being told the problem is them
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Partners longing for emotional connection and attunement that keeps feeling out of reach
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Highly sensitive people who feel everything at full volume and rarely feel met
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Couples wanting to understand each other across different neurotypes and rebuild connection
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Partners rebuilding trust after betrayal, chronic misunderstanding, or years of feeling unheard
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Cross-cultural couples navigating different unspoken rules about closeness, respect, and emotion
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People deciding whether to stay, and wanting clarity before they choose
What to Expect With Me
Clients tell me I'm warm, practical, and easy to talk to. With me, you'll feel believed from the first session — not managed, not corrected, not quietly blamed. Because I understand sensory and nervous-system needs from the inside, you don't have to arrive calm and composed or perform being fine. You can move, fidget, look away, take your time, or ask me to slow down. Whatever you're feeling is welcome, and we'll work with it, not around it.
Our work isn't only about naming what's wrong. It's about helping you feel understood, less alone, and genuinely more equipped — with a clearer map of what's happening between you and your partner, and concrete, repeatable steps for what to do next. You won't be asked to shrink yourself. You'll be asked to show up, to trust your own perception again, and to let us slow things down together.
"I focus on the how-to of communication, sensory regulation, and rebuilding trust after years of feeling unheard."